Everything is out of your reality until it becomes your reality. Never lose hope.
It’s 6 in the morning and I received the most beautiful compliment. Everyone is looking at the tram … maybe it will come. I’m looking at the sun. I’m watching the sunrise over the dusty cars, I haven’t slept at all, and no, I didn’t go to a crazy party; I come from work. Crazy times, yes.
A friend gave me the most beautiful compliment. Not that I’m beautiful, wonderful or good at heart. I’ve received these before, they didn’t make me feel very special. Someone told me I was fearless. Okay girl, thanks, I didn’t expect that. I smiled slightly … Slightly and quietly. Maybe a little proud … That’s what I always dreamed of being … “fearless”, to have courage.
I have always dreamed of facing the greatest fears, the greatest hopes too. To see what comes out of them, and what remains after them, to have the courage to discover myself, to have the courage to desire things that I will not get or the courage to fail, to be able to want and to obtain.
You need courage to dream, and to be disappointed, to submit to the possibility of disappointments, to leave yourself in the hands of hope and to not be as you want it to be. I say you need courage because so many people don’t even try, they give in to fear. And this is the most dreaded thing, to want, but to be afraid to try. It won’t come out every time, but you will learn.
You won’t always get what you want when you want it, but you will grow. You will set off again with more experience, and maybe next time it will work, when you will try again. No one guarantees your success, but no one can do it for you, only you. You are the only person who can decide what experiences you want to live and what not, no one else.
I have always dreamed, maybe somewhere in the back of my head, to find my flaws and qualities, and not, not in a manual or a test with answers, not through personal development books, but alone with myself, in sleepless nights full of questions, with tears and laughter on my face, away from everything that was familiar to me; this is the only way you can really know yourself, this is the only way you can know who you are and especially, who you want to become.
I also have a list of fears I want to get rid of. I feel them there, somewhere, well impregnated in my mind, some maybe without my will, with the will of the society or of the past years. I got rid off so many, one by one, the others will follow.
Fear is the only thing holding you back. Don t let it do it.